Smirking Effrontery

The New Joint

2006-10-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

http://space-agepolymers.blogspot.com/

I'll be setting up shop over at this place. SmirkEff will be kept around as sort of an archive.

Update your links and come on by.

MOTIVATIONAL

2006-08-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

DRUNK!

2006-07-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

String Theory

2006-07-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

Been busy fighting crime and trying to keep Bryan Singer from ruining my good name with his caca movie.

I thought all you nerds would enjoy this show. It's a documentary that's been running on PBS the past few nights about String Theory. I won't even attempt to explain it...but the website has all three hours available in QT in little bite-sized portions. Check it out.

Keanu Says Whoa

CHARLIE

2006-06-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

Superman vs SHAZAM!

FLASH vs The Trickster (Hamill reprising his role from the tv show)

DVD's That Will Make You More Attractive

2006-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

I've sorta bailed on blogging lately. Too much work, been working on other non-interweb endeavors, etc. Blogger's steadfast commitment to middleness is also a contributing factor to my case of the almost-summer blahs.

BUT...I've surfaced from my funk to deliver a few hearty recommends on this DVD new release Tuesday.

I don't think I wrote anything up about DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY. In short, it's a masterpiece. A confluence of comedy, ass-kickingly GREAT music, and pervasive vibe of good spirits. I walked out of the theater happy as a motherfucker that evening. In a day and age of persistent global pessimism, Chappelle cobbled together this wonderfully hopeful film. When we are contently bombarded with reminders of how shitty the human animal is, it's rare and lovely that something like this can come along and reveal how art truly lifts us out of the muck.

KISS KISS BANG BANG arrives to hopefully get some love after being virtually ignored theatrically.

The wackiest zombie movie EVER lumbers onto region 1 discus today. CEMETERY MAN is a weird, distant memory for me. Pretty much because I've never seen it straight. I'm curious if it works as well not stoned out of your gourd. We shall see.

This past weekend I poured over the new DAZED & CONFUSED Criterion. It's such a pure and innocent piece. I don't think it so much captures the time and place verbatim as much it relates the feelings of that time and place. Which I think is the more commendable feat. I think this rates up there in my all time favorite films.

WOOOOOOOOO RUNNING SCARED HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. KICKS. ASS.

Saturday

2006-06-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

For the Merchan of Venice

2006-06-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

Found my USB cable!

This is what I do when I'm bored

2006-06-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

SMOOOVE

2006-06-02T03:43:00.000-07:00

Redirect

2006-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up: Charlie Brigden's old blog is more defunct than Power Pack. He's got a new hidey hole where he professes his love of Dick.

Check it out, yo: Animoid Row

Big, Fat, DVD Goodness

2006-05-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

This fat mother just landed in my vile clutches:

I love getting DVD's at work. It just nudges my day over the line into "barely tolerable". Added to that, when I get something like this big, hunk of sex...I'm in lust with this old format all over again.

I liked the film in it's theatrical cut. I could feel the seams where something truly great was hemmed in. I've been dying to see this version since reports of it's existence. Then Collider hosted a badass sounding event where it was theatrically screened followed-up with a Q&A. Now, this thing is being practically GIVEN AWAY...and I got one. You should too.

It sort of reminds me how spoiled we are as consumers. Back in the laserdisc days something like this was, literally, a couple hundred dollars. A 4-disc DEFINITIVE document of a film for under $20?!?!?

"I've seen everything...I've seen it all."

2006-05-17T05:56:00.001-07:00

The oscar season begins!

2006-05-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

...

You win, Satan.

Get your cocks out!

2006-05-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

Latest edition of my dvd column is up at THE FAKE LIFE

PEEP

From the "WTF" files...

2006-05-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

I bring you EDISON FORCE

Those godless illegals WIN!

2006-05-02T10:47:00.000-07:00

An image that struck fear into my <3 :

YOU WIN, GIANT SOMBRERO MAN.

Faker

2006-04-17T06:36:00.000-07:00

It's now semi, quasi, almost official: A new movie website is issuing forth from it's creators loins covered in birthing snot.

THE FAKE LIFE

A ton of recognizable faces all chewing the Chow Yun Fat of movies as often as they can get internet time on the prison computers. Add them to your blog roll, add them to your myspace, add them to your of body parts.

I'll be contributing a weekly DVD column and will be physically restaining Charlie Brigden from dressing up as Oola from Return of the Jedi.

Scattershot Tuesday

2006-04-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

A couple of items on various fronts:

- Was watching Pulp Fiction a couple days ago, it occured to me how genius it is that Marcellus Wallace deems a new bedroom set (oak, no less) fair compensation for the temporary storage and clean up of a bloodsoaked getaway car. Class act.

- There's only ONE reason to watch Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel, my new crush:

- Held auditions last weekend (the second batch) and cast two fine kids, one for the lead. We've got a table read (which, truth be told, is more about seeing if my dialogue sounds remotely human coming from other people -- I expect another draft) and if that goes well I'll post photos.

From: Me, To: You Bastardos

2006-04-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

And thus fulfills a lifelong fantasy of seeing an animated Robert Davi.

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

I wish I had a poster of this

2006-04-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

For Your Wallpaper

2006-04-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

SILENT HILL

2006-04-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

My anticipation = HULK-isized critical mass.

I know precisely fuck all about the game. I do know that Christophe Gans made Le Pacte des loups. That movie featured, inarguably, the greatest crossfade of all time: Monica Bellucci's perfect breast to beautiful mountain.

Silent Hill looks fantastic.
Check the trailer.

The Squid and The Whale

2006-04-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

This deserved it's own entry apart from the scattershot DVD pileup. To say this flick resonated with me personally would be a dramatic understatement. I think I sort of brushed Noah Baumbach off as a lesser Whit Stillman back in the day (and that was more likely because of Eigeman). I like being proven wrong. I definitely noticed his involvement on The Life Aquatic.

I dread using the term "Performace of His/Her Career" unless said career is over, but Jeff Daniels is the creamy, nougat of this motion picture. Jesus Christ, I've never winced at more uncomfortable familiarity in my life. I say that knowing what an asshole this guy is, but isn't there so much of this character in "us"? Laura Linney is one of those actors, like Maria Bello in A History of Violence, that wears her age well, to put it lightly.

Some of the comments gleaned from other reviews seemed to note how "small" the movie is as a negative. I don't get this critique. I loved it BECAUSE it was "small". Although, I'd hate to term the dance we do with people in our most intimate of orbits as "small". The Squid and The Whale operates on a level of emotional honesty that I truly envy. It's uncomfortable, and totally engrossing. Go get it.

DVD Short Controlled Bursts (aka Tuesday)

2006-04-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

It's not a real heavy week for new acquisitions. I'm getting The Long Good Friday and Mona Lisa courtesy of deepdiscountdvd. I put Brokeback on the same ticket as Hostel so that will be a couple weeks down the road. And what double feature that'll be.

The movie writing and planning has conquered most of my free time. Rightfully so. But I've managed to steal away some hours to peep out the latest and greatest.

In no order whatsoever:

A History of Violence: A masterpiece. I made the claim the other day that I don't think Cronenberg has ever made an out-n-out bad film. Christ, even the flicks I didn't initially warm to (Spider, Crash) have ended up worming their way into my brain and heart. I love that Violence could have been a cheap thriller with 3rd tier star and made nary a peep of commentary. At first blush it could star a well-known action stars brother. In Cronenbergs mitts, it's deepening cavern of human identity and moral ambiguity. The violence both draws as in and then repels us all in the same breath.

I'd say the only bit where I think the film goes slightly askew is in the son's 2nd confrontation with the bully. His beatdown of his tormentor was completely justified. Snarking a bully while still being shrouded in fear is not the way to go. In really real life.

Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns: Wow. Where has this John Carpenter been? A steller piece of atmosphere-heavy terror. My only bitch is that it was only an hour. I loved the mythology of the film. And how about the...ahem...unraveling of Udo's character. Nice work again by KNB.

King Kong 2005: Sigh. I hate...no, HATE being super-enthusiastic about a movie and then on subsequent viewings realize I was on a first date high. OK, this is no way a bad movie or a failure. Were I to be forced at harpoon-point to ascribe a negative reflection, it would be "a disappointment".

Predictably my issue isn't totally the length, but how a good chunk of the first hour is spent with characters that are basically "Ensign Johnsons". Hell, I think Evan Parke is great and I dug Mr. Hayes but to what end did all of our time with him and Jimmy serve? Jimmy disappears at the end of act 2. There's no emotional payoff. On my first screening, I reckoned this movie to E.T. Wrong! Imagine E.T. if we spent a good chunk of time with Keys' fellow feds. Or C. Thomas Howell.

In fact, I'd say all the time spent with these guys (and Jack Driscoll) only serves to underline how powerful the real lading man really is. Kong, himself, is wonderful. The fact that's he's a mosaic of pixels laid over the physical talents of Andy Serkis is amazing to me. The depth of feeling in his eyes...when he's looking at Ann is pure cinema. I will say that there's almost noting that could be improved over the '33 version except for one huge thing that Peter Jackson gets: the relationship between Ann and Kong is the movie. It's not there at all in the original. I'll be FF'ing to that frozen lake scene a lot.

Arrested Development Season 2: You think the guy in the $7000 suit is going to write a review for the guy that doesn't make that in three months?!?!? COME ON!!!

SHARK ATTACK 4 (or 5, what number are they on?)

2006-04-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

In the continuing battle versus boredom, I took the girls to the Dallas Aquarium saturday. They asked me if we'd see sharks...

All that was missing was Lou Gossett Jr., Bess Armstrong, and a poorly-matted 3-D shark busting open the shark tunnel.

Jay and Silent Bob Kick Smack!

2006-03-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

The whole Kevin Smith nerd backlash mystifies me. I'm still a big fan of New Jersey Fats. His blog is a daily stop for me. Over the past couple of days he's been detailing Jason Mewes' heroin problem and it's eventual defeat.

It's typical Kevin Smith; funny, heartfelt stuff. Give it a read.

Me and My Shadow, Pt. 1

Me and My Shadow, Pt. 2

Cute stuff

2006-03-29T10:51:00.000-08:00

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It is...accomplished.

2006-03-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

I, METAMORPHOSER

2006-03-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

To explain the post written in Sixmilliondollarmanese, I'm going to be repurposing this here blog to be more than my whimsical dalliance with movies and other assorted crap.

I'm going to be throwing lots of photos up here. Anything and everything. If you SMIRKONAUTS care to suggest, plead, or demand...I'll aim to oblige.

Other thing, I'm making a movie. I've jerked around and made really amateurish short films and the like, but this will be my first stab at the real thing. I've written a script, purchased the hardware, and made roads to getting a cast and crew up and running. So I'll be dumping all that stuff here.

Enjoy actual content for a change, suckers!

Coming Soon to the KATANGADOME

2006-03-29T03:28:00.000-08:00

Plot Synopsis: Locked behind the walls of a convent are an order of beautiful nuns whose vows force them to forget the pleasures of sexual contact. Crazed with lust and desire many of the nuns pleasure themselves and each other in fear of the Mother Superior. One night a wounded man is found on the grounds of the convent and is brought inside to be healed. He becomes the focus of the young nuns' desires as each one tries to visit this young man. But along with him has come the evil force of Satan. A local priest proceeds to exorcise the demon from within the holy building driving the nuns into a delirium of sexual madness.

WHAT IF...

2006-03-27T12:26:00.000-08:00

Created by English Warlord Charlie 15Years Brigden

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him."

2006-03-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

"We have the technology.
Better than he was before.

Better,
Stronger,
Faster."

Changes are coming soon.

"Enough is enough...I've had it with these muthafuckin' snakes."

2006-03-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

The cure for cancer:
Right here.

Snaked (HA) from Sir Pinch at devincf who trawls all the internets at the same time.

Godspeed, Mr. Furley...

2006-02-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

To that great Regal Beagle in the sky.

DVD Review: ULTIMATE AVENGERS

2006-02-23T06:49:00.000-08:00

I was kind of hoping to be able to report that Marvel's inaugural offering of it's Direct-to-DVD line would be a rousing success. That it would burst open the floodgates of a much-maligned distribution route and give us animated adventures that have not leapt over Hollywood hurdles or were too "out there" for television animation. Of this new venture, that I was seriously pulling for, I can only say...

WEAK.

I'd go so far to call it castrated. It's a limp eunuch of a what was a great new direction for Marvel. The Ultimates is a wonderful book. It's Marvel getting back to what made Marvel better than DC. Giving their superhero characters real world dilemmas. The movie conveniently straddles both the classic iterations of The Avengers while bringing in lame and tame nuances of The Ultimates version.

The design is a cartoonized version of Bryan Hitch's supercool style. It's not bad. It's a bit better X-Men Evolution. The end credits feature stills from the original Ultimates comic and you realize what's missing in the translation is personality.

The action scenes are fairly good -- provided you don't need to have the slightest concern for a character or harbor enough nostalgic reserve that just to see a characters that bear the faintest resemblance to Thor and the Hulk slugging it out is enough for you then uh, yeah, enjoy. The movie stops dead, dead, deadski inbetween action scenes. The Ultimates comic was just as exciting when Hank Pym and the Wasp were getting their Ike and Tina on than when Hulk was kicking the piss out of Captain America. Stark's alcoholism, Thor being nuts, Pym and Wasps domestic squabbles, Hulk being the totality of Banners masculine ineffectivess...ALL GONE, DADDY, GONE.

I do not recall alien invasion being in the original comic at all. If it was...I was so drawn to the character drama that I have no recollection. If it wasn't adding it here is really cheap. And the aliens looks silly. Was no one aware on this project that Marvel has one of the best shape-shifting aliens around...the Skrulls? Why these lame ALIEN ripoffs?

Any notion by the completely unwarranted PG-13 rating that this movie skews older audiences is patently fucking wrong. It's is pure pre-pubescent fantasy. And not even the kind that I mind grooving with. I can totally regress to that mind-set if the material is so fun and infectious that you'd have to be a big, giant twat not to (see: Teen Titans, JLU, and Batman: The Animated Series). Ultimate Avengers isn't fun, it's labored and annoying.

To sum up in three words: avoid, avoid, avoid.

A Taste of Look Around You

2006-02-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

I found all these on their website. Which is here.

You have been sent out on an errand to buy some fruit for your family. Your fruit-basket has the capacity to hold 80 apples. At the fruit-mongers you fill your basket up to a third, but returning home, you are reprimanded by the tax collector of your citadel, and ordered to pay the 32.4% apple levy - in apples. You return home with your remaining apples and distribute them amongst your 12 family members. Are there enough apples to give each family member sufficient vitamin C to see them through the bitter winter ahead?

A magician pulls rabbits out of a top hat at the rate of 18 standard rabbits per hour. How long will it be before he has enough pelts to make a fur coat for his assistant, who has a mass volume of 144 gallons?

Also try the Water Quiz

Britcoms

2006-02-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

My lastest package from Amazon.uk arrived the other day swollen with comedic goodness. After the family sacked out I filled a tumbler (real men don't use stemware) full of sangiovese and indulged.

First up:

Man, you have to give Gervais and Merchant respect to not do "David Brent Goes Hollywood". It's totally different than The Office. For starters, Gervais's Andy Millman is a decent guy who just wants to be a respectable working actor. He's got a bit of an ego (nowhere near Brents) but is a very down-to-earth fella. The tone is drastically different as the mockumentary structure isn't a factor. This is a straight sitcom. It's funny, for sure...but not the dripping with dread and pathos comedy The Office was.

Next:

Lovers of funny, take heed, this show is MURDER. It's like Kids In The Hall with two guys who are unrelenting cyborgs of comedy. Matt Lucas and David Walliams are in the same orbit as Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg. If you dug Spaced or Shaun of the Dead, get this shit into your dvd player post-haste.

Speaking of Shaun of the Dead:

This came highly recommended by CHUD's own Dan Whitehead. This is pound for pound the best of the recent haul. It's note-for-note skewering of those science films they used to show in grade school. It is bone dry. This is Death Star laserbeam precision satire. I imagine there's not a nerd on anyone of the Infinite Earths that would not be taken by this. Get it, it's cheap too.

Addicted

2006-02-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

I tore through this in a record day and a half. And I want MORE. I like that the more outlandish designs and concepts seem to work the best. The tone of the TT show is the polar opposite of the comics, which was superhero sidekick 90210. It was great at the time and Perez's art is a panel-to-panel masterpiece. The show is just fun and light-hearted. Squarely aimed at kids. Which is refreshing.

There's a great half-hour (a guess) featurette with Marv Wolfman and George "God" Perez talkin' Titans with some interjections from the shows creative staff.

Another supplement is a "Voices of the Titans" thing. Basically, the vocal talent looks (and sounds) amazingly similar to their animated counterparts. Particularly hilarious is the little guy who does Beast Boy who isn't changing his voice...at all.

Beware: the theme song will cement itself inside your brain for all time. You could be getting a speeding ticket or a prostate exam and hear "T-E-E-N! T-I-T-A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!" Maddening.

Trifle

2006-02-07T06:46:00.000-08:00

A weird assortment of weekend viewing. I was editing a short and needed some noise to keep me from plunging my eyesocket onto the corner of the desk.

Creepshow 2: Picked the Anchor Bay “Divimax” edition up for cheap. I loved this when I was 12 and that’s entirely the age range this should service. It’s a nice entry-level scare. I guess the highest praise I can give it, is its faithful adherence to the EC Comics tropes. Very cool f/x by a young Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger. In fact, the little featurette on the two of them was way worth the $5 I dropped.

“Thanks for the ride, lady!”

The American Nightmare: This was packaged as a special feature on region 2 of The Hills Have Eyes. What lucky sons of bitches those Britainicans (and those of us that have thrown off the shackles of region coding) are. Basically, it puts the Golden Age (late 60’s – 70’s) of horror flicks in historical and societal context. Starting with Night of the Living Dead you go through the greats with one-on-ones with the directors as they discuss their films and what was going at the time. Tobe and Chain Saw, Cronenberg, Romero again with Dawn, Craven and Last House (a film I am too terrified to watch).

Oh and get this: Tom Savini was a combat photographer in Vietnam. His story about the camera giving him the emotional distance that he needed in the face of all that real life horror gave me chills. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

It’s available on region 1 on it’s own. Check it out.

North by Northwest: Man, Cary Grant was a kind of cool all to his own. I love all the not-so-subtle sex banter between him and Eva Marie Saint (who may be my favorite Hitchcock lady of all time). And the gay stuff with James Mason and Landau. I need a .gif of that pov shot of Mason punching Landau.

Happy Accidents: This is one of those flicks that I found so amicable that I can barely muster the energy to write about it. It’s a cute little romcom with Marissa Tomei and Vincent D’Onofrio. Awww…it’s so well-meaning and sweet that being dismissive of it makes one feel like a shit. Try renting it without reading the plot synopsis. I think watching it cold is the best bet. Attention, nerds…it’s got a little sci-fi angle to it. That Tomei is quite an actress, hot as hell too. D’Onofrio is the greatest fat guy actor of his generation. Watch him oversell an overly complicated line then pull it back with a look. Anthony Michael Hall cameos as Anthony Michael Hall.

Have the cast of CADDYSHACK at your next Bar Mitzvah!

2006-02-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

FOR REAL.

What's funny is that's the real Chevy.

Charlie's 007 quiz

2006-01-27T10:49:00.000-08:00

Fun.

1. Favourite Bond Movie
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

2. Favourite Bond
Sean Connery

3. Favourite Bond Girl
Pussy Galore in GOLDFINGER

4. Favourite Bond Villain
Mr. Big in LIVE AND LET DIE

5. Favourite Bond Car
The Lotus Esprit from THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

6. Favourite Bond Gadget
Wrist dart gun in MOONRAKER

7. Favourite Bond Non-Car Vehicle
Crocodile submarine in OCTOPUSSY (obviously)

8. Favourite Secondary Bond Girl
Xenia Onatopp in GOLDENEYE

9. Favourite Secondary Bond Villain
Jaws

10. Favourite Bond Song
Nobody Does It Better from THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

11. Favourite Bond Action Scene
Not really an action scene per se, but the dispatching of “Blofeld” at the beginning of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.

12. Favourite Bond Method of Torture/Death/Antagonism
I hate to give the same answer twice…but the dumping a crippled megalomaniac into a smokestack is pretty hard to top.

13. Favourite Villainous Plot
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME. Nuke the world and create an underwater utopia!

14. First Bond Girl You Had A Crush On
Dr. Holly Goodhead, MOONRAKER

15. Worst Bond
Tie: Lazenby and Brosnan

16. Worst Bond Film
DIE ANOTHER DAY

17. Worst Bond Song
Tomorrow Never Dies by Sheryl fucking Crow

18. Silliest Bond Gadget
Invisible Aston Martin in DAY ANOTHER DAY

19. Favourite Bond Quip
“He just dropped in for a quick bite.” from THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

20. Worst Bond Quip
"I'm afraid we're being out-horse-powered!” FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

21. Favourite Q Line
”Pay attention, 007!”

22. Favourite Pre-Credit Sequence
The ski chase in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME.

23. First Bond Film You Saw
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

So long, Nice Guy Eddie.

2006-01-25T09:39:00.000-08:00

DVD Jabs

2006-01-24T08:41:00.000-08:00

You wouldn't know it from the update draught, but I've seen a stack of deeveedee.

Without further ado, and in no order whatsoever:

Crash: What smidgen of goodwill earned by a couple solid performances is kicked in the head, teeth, and balls by the utter condescending tone. This movie does not breathe. It continually hammers it's obvious point right in your face to the detriment of any kind of believability. I also don't dig rationalizing racism. Pandering nonsense. It's a "shocking" movie for people that don't really want to be shocked.

Inside Deep Throat: Great documentary. The guy that directed Deep Throat is a total fucking creep, though.

Broken Flowers: Already underrated. Bill Murray keeps refining his ultimate hangdog status. Jeffrey Wright, again, steals a movie.

Hustle and Flow: Loved this theatrically. Confirmed said love on DVD. It's totally made on the little moments. Even though it stays inside the lines, the honesty is in the details. The Terrence Howard hype is justified.

Groundhog Day: I'm so glad Bill Murray doesn't make these anymore. I like this, but man it was a chore to sit through.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Shocking Truth: This is the feature length doc on the r2 TCM. Pretty damn cool.

Flash Gordon: The r2 is excellent. I noticed that Ming's Hot Ass Daughter has a pet midget on a leash (Deep Roy rockin it for the shorties) called "Fellini". Was Dino making a crack? Anyways...God was Ming's daughter hot.

Coming Soon:

2006-01-19T07:30:00.001-08:00

OPPO

OPPO

OPPO!

More Smirking Than Ever Before!!!

2006-01-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

I cribbed this quiz from a real life West Coast Avenger.

1) First Movie you saw in a theater?
Star Wars

2) First R-Rated Film You Bought A Ticket For By Yourself?
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

3) Favorite Movie Snack?
Zip. Eating and Movies don’t mix, kids.

4) Favorite film going experience?
Trilogy Tuesday with the Nerdocracy.

5) Stupidest thing you did that you saw in a Movie?
Locked myself in an airtight compartment reenacting the escape pod scene from STAR WARS. Almost died.

6) First film to inspire carnal thoughts for the opposite sex?
FLASH GORDON (1980)

7) Have you ever paid for one movie and snuck into another?
Yes

8) Have you ever seen a movie in Drive-In?
Yep. JAWS.

9) Have you ever had sex in a car while watching a movie in a Drive-In?
No

10) If so, what film?
N/A

11) Ever had sex in a movie theater?
Yes.

12) If so, what film?
THE PUPPET MASTERS.

13) Favorite John Hughes Film?
WEIRD SCIENCE

14) Favorite Quentin Tarantino film?
KILL BILL Vol. 1 & 2

15) Favorite Hitchcock Film?
PSYCHO

16) Favorite Spielberg Film?
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

17) Favorite Zombie Film?
George A. Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD.

18) Favorite Actor (dead)?
John Belushi

19) Favorite Actor (living)?
Bill Murray

20) Favorite Character Actor Ever?
Takashi Shimura and Claude Rains

21) Favorite Actress (dead)?
Lucille Ball

22) Favorite Actress (living)?
Sigourney Weaver

23) Favorite Character Actress Ever?
Helen Mirren

24) Favorite Theatrical Animated Character?
The Iron Giant

25) Favorite Film Score?
TAXI DRIVER – Bernard Herrmann

26) Favorite piece of Film Music?
Theme from PSYCHO

27) Favorite Film Song?
Flash by Queen (FLASH GORDON)

28) Favorite Christmas Movie?
DIE HARD

29) Favorite Film Genre?
Horror

30) Favorite Porn Film?
Despise porn

31) First Porn Film You Saw?
“Creamy Licks”

32) Favorite Disney Film?
THE INCREDIBLES

33) Favorite Western?
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

34) Favorite Musical?
THE BLUES BROTHERS

35) Favorite Horror Film?
THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE

36) Favorite Comedy?
ANIMAL HOUSE

37) Favorite Science Fiction Film?
2001

38) Favorite Suspense Film?
DRESSED TO KILL

39) Favorite Romantic Film?
THE APARTMENT

40) Favorite Epic?
RAN

41) Least Favorite Thing About Seeing Films in A Theater?
Discourteous people.

42) Favorite Thing about Seeing Films in a Theater?
Sharing an emotional reaction with a couple hundred total strangers.

43) If you could be any film character, who?
Bruce Lee in anything.

44) If you could have sex with any film character, who?
Persephone (THE MATRIX RELOADED) or Elastigirl. Preferably both at the same time.

45) If you could live happily ever after with a film character, who?
Selma in DANCING IN THE DARK

46) If you could be any movie monster, who?
The Predator

47) Favorite Film Critic?
Joe Bob Briggs

48) Favorite Screen Writer?
Quentin Tarantino

49) Favorite Director?
Akira Kurosawa

50) Chaplin or Keaton?
C’mon… Keaton. Always Keaton.

Hostel

2006-01-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

I couldn't wait. I caught Hostel yesterday with the Artist Formerly Known as General Logan. Let me allow that I had a fun time with Eli Roth's first flick, Cabin Fever. It wasn't the second coming of Sam Raimi but it had some honest atmosphere and a solid appreciation of the genre(s).

Hostel blows it away. It's a proper film. By that I mean it's a well-thoughtout, layered and coiled work. Not just a sound design scare film. The marketing is way off. IT ISN'T A TORTURE/GORE PORN MOVIE. Roth (and his editor the esteemed George Folsey) amazingly cut around the grue in such a way that it's more emotionally intense than just a rehash of The Best of Faces Of Death. But it's still a pretty damn bloody night at the movies. The artistry of maestro Greg Nicotero does not unnoticed.

Between Hostel and Devils Rejects, I feel we're at the threshhold of a new horror renaissance. Much like Vietnam and domestic strife of the 70's influenced Tobe Hooper I think we're seeing the artistic effect of modern atrocities like Abu Ghraib, Iraq, and Guantanamo that are wafting over the airwaves 24/7.

Seeing it again tonight with my wife. I'll give 2nd sceening thoughts later.

Also: Match Point. Very excited for that too.

How is this for a Saturday Double Feature?

2006-01-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hostel followed by Match Point.

Scoped out here.

Grizzly Man

2006-01-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

I have been in love with documentaries since I was a kid and saw THE MAN WHO SAW TOMORROW 437 times on early 80’s cable. It scared the piss out of me. And much like a crackhead tries to get back to that first high, I’ve been trying to get that same real life emotional charge out of documentaries ever since.

Grizzly Man seems a very easy read by the trailer, “nature nut gets eaten by bear”-- the end. I’ll admit to not being totally intrigued by the premise alone. Of course, the helmsman of Grizzly Man is none other than Werner Herzog (possibly the coolest name in the pantheon of directors). The man deals in insanity. The DVD hit this week and I cracked it open.

What’s interesting about Grizzly Man is that Timothy Treadwell’s death is covered in the opening moments of the film. The pilot that usually picked him up at the end of the summer discovered his and girlfriend Amie’s remains…STILL BEING CHOMPED ON BY A FUCKING BEAR.

So we get the sensational out of the way first. Then, Herzog uses Treadwell’s own footage to find a psychological foothold. Timothy Treadwell comes across as a vain and definitely complex man-boy. The kind of guy America spits up all too often. However, it’d be too easy to dismiss him as a nutty treehugger who “got what he deserved”, a line actually spoken by some dick (only dicks wear mustaches like that) in an interview. Treadwell had found religion. He communes with these grizzlies as devout worshippers would flock to a holy site and prostrate themselves before their deity. His very presence among one of the most dangerous animals on earth seems too ritualistic to not make the connection.

The only thing that intrudes on this noble act is Treadwell’s own vanity. Often doing various takes to test out different bandana choices, he seems like he’s auditioning for Animal Planet as another Jeff Corwin type. Not to mention his temper tantrums. Prolonged (rehearsed?) profane and diatribes at “them” for not “protecting” the bears.

2005 has a twist ending!!!

2005-12-29T06:58:00.000-08:00

As the year tumbled onward, I knew the one sure thing about the films of 05 would be the big ass monkey in December. It was my trump card. I knew no matter how I felt about this years line up, that goddamn ape (I’m talking about Peter Jackson here) would swing down and pluck me from the chomping maw of mediocre/shit movies.

I truly felt KONG was the closer. As my wife is fond of pointing out; I was wrong as a motherfucker.

I loved KONG. For all its bloat and self-indulgence, I love it. I honestly cannot be objective about it. I love the original KING KONG. I love Peter Jackson, who has never made a film I didn’t adore. I love Naomi Watts in various stages of undress. KONG exploits every one of these things and makes me a lump of putty.

Then I see Brokeback Mountain.

You can’t rate it on the same level of KONG. I guess one could, but I can’t. BROKEBACK is such a human, agonizing piece of enduring art. I can’t quite equate it to another film. Forget the insulting “gay cowboy” moniker, it’s a universal film that should appeal to anyone with a heart. As moved as I was by KONG, I was not expecting this film to fuck my proverbial shit up as much as it did. The wife and I discussed this movie for a week. And it’s just one of those movie that gets inside your brain and rolls around for awhile.

So, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN takes KING KONG for the lead.

It is your sworn duty as a student of film (not “film student”) to see a Spielberg movie when it’s released. If you're of my generation that grew up weeping to E.T. and a man being chased by a giant boulder is engrained in your personal iconography, it’s just what you fucking do. So MUNICH was seen and it completely blows me away.

So, 2005 wraps with three GREAT movies. Each one more impacting than the one before it. All three are the kinds of movies that I want to take everyone I know to see it, so I can watch it again through their eyes.

Munich

2005-12-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

MUNICH is a film that Spielberg needed to do. There’s an urgency that I haven’t really seen in his work. Maybe in RAIDERS but this, of course, is totally (and tonally) different. Spielberg has always been considered the greatest. And he’s coasted on that through many films. With MUNICH I see the artist again. I see a man struggling to understand the violent world that he’s in and his art is a reflection of that process.

I’m going to go in-depth here. If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it and come back and chew the Chow Yun Fat.

The movie opens depicting a fragmented retelling of the 1972 Munich Olympic games massacre. A siege of a dorm room containing Israeli athletes by a squad of heavily armed PLO operatives ends…badly. It’s fragmented masterfully. We see actual news reports with Howard Cosell, of all people, seamlessly edited into film footage. The effect conveys what every Jew in the world must have felt at the time. A solidarity, tension, horror, confusion.

Watching the events unfold is Eric Bana’s Avner. An Israeli son of a military hero and an agent of the Mossad. He is immediately whisked away into a room with government and military folk, and Golda Mier. Policy is being hammered out and Avner is asked if he will forfeit his ties to the Israeli government in order to seek bloody retribution for his fallen countrymen. With a pregnant wife at home and initial moral misgivings, Avner accepts.

Avner heads up a similarly cherry-picked team of four other agents. Utilizing every convention of the modern spy/men on a mission genre, Spielberg parallels what we expect from this type of movie. It’s thrilling and engaging. It’s what happens to these characters after several campaigns that film gets it's hooks into us.

This is Spielberg at his most ambiguous. The Palestinian targets are portrayed as real human beings who love their children and share the same ideals as Avner. In one haunting scene the team shares a “safe house” with a cell of PLO operatives. Rather than another action set piece, the characters hang out and listen to the radio. Avner engages the leader of the cell, Ali, in a discussion about Israeli-Palestinian conflict. They are opposed but more similar than either realizes.

I really have to applaud Spielberg for being a conscientious artist and not making this a revenge flick. He allows his characters to not be good or bad, but to be how human beings truly are: a bit of both. His characters question their own actions. And Avner eventually becomes frayed emotionally and psychologically.

In MUNICH the phrase “An eye for an eye” hangs over every scene but is never uttered. It realizes that this cycle of violence is like uroboros slowly engulfing it’s whole body. And with the final shot of the movie, it should all be clear how totally accurate this all is.

BY SPIDER-MANS BALLS!

2005-12-28T04:04:00.000-08:00

Check out what was delivered to me yesterday evening:

From my best gal pal who hauled ass to California
to become an actress. And unlike 99.999999% was actually successful. The moral of this story is it's good to have loaded friends. Thx, woman...I'll never talk bad about you again (to your face.) I'd type "mwah" or some other affectation but I have a reputation to uphold.

I Survived Christmas And All I Got Was This Delicious Assortment Of International Mustards.

2005-12-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

All in all, pretty good Christmas at the Miro Volcanic Lair. My oldest daughter got me my favorite gift. This badass Roaring Kong. Also came with a tiny Ann Darrow and a native to munch on.

I got a ton of books from the wife. My faves so far.

A motherfucking Fist of Fury t-shirt, which was awesome and unexpected. Some bottles of booze which are always welcome and needed.

We spent the day playing and cooking. The wife roasted a chicken. We made some scorching hot vodka pasta, some stuffed tomatoes, a salad with mandarin orange vinagrette. Some friends came over and we drank many bottles of wine and ate. All real casual. And very lowkey.

Damn.

2005-12-12T09:38:00.000-08:00

No amount of commentary or eulogizing could do the man justice. It's a crime that we only get a Richard Pryor for such a short amount of time. And we'll probably have "Larry The Cable Guy" for an eternity.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Enjoy The Silence

2005-12-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Not much movie-wise to jaw about. With two small children at the casa maintaining the illusion of Santa Claus is a full time job. This entails sneaking out to retail establishments to procure toys at odd hours. The odd hours that I usually reserve for delving into my esoteria. My Dollar Home Theater is also subbing as Santa's waystation.

I have been enjoying revisiting Arrested Development. I'm a continuity nerd so seeing these in order makes what I already thought was hilarious show all the better. They do a really good job of referencing past eps. But the buildup from episode to episode is really worth forking over the cash to buy these. Where to begin...

This is one of the most solid ensembles EVER. All in the Family, Soap, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Freaks And Geeks. Arrested Development can total stand with those titans. Will Arnett, David Cross, Jeffrey "Wat" Tambor...all geniuseses. But I feel Jason Bateman doesn't get enough love. The guy is a rock. Michael Bluth's inexplicable devotion to his family of self-centered, really, children is the heart of the show. Funny is easy...but funny with heart is what separates the weak from the strong (I'm talking to you, Family Guy).

I've been plugging away at Entourage. I can't really get into it. I'm only 4 episodes in...and I can't really connect to it. I guess because I feel like so far instead of exposing all the foibles of celebrity it's actually celebrating them. And as far as I can tell the show is about these hapless guys spoiling themselves with their pals money. I dunno...it really rubs the wrong way. Piven is good and I find myself wanting a whole show about him. I'll stick with it, however and hope it hooks me.

DVD Merry Go Round!

2005-11-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

A bunch of stuff that I've either already blabbed about or don't really deserve their own posts.

War of the Worlds (2005): That Spielberg kid is gonna be big one day, I tells ya. I still dig it. It's a tight, focused little global invasion movie. And that first tripod erupting from the Earth is just some fine, high tension cinema. The disc looks and sounds wonderful. I ponied up for the two-disc because I liked that cover better. Yes, I am that shallow.

Paradise Lost: Man, that Damien kid is lying his balls off. I've got no hard evidence to back that up. But that feeling right in the pit of my stomach is profound. His face is full of tells on the stand, too. I used to be a big supporter of the WM3...but after watching this and having read the actual court transcripts I'm a little more grey on the whole thing. There are some glaring omissions by the filmmakers. Well, I just don't know...

Battlestar Galactica: I sort of put this aside when my wife wanted to go through Lost. Glad to be back to it. I'm even over my Starbuck hate. I like how that character changes. And I fucking love Baltar and Number 6.

The Post-Gluttonous Rampage, uh, Post.

2005-11-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

The feast of non-avian flu sporting poultry is over. It should be done on Thursday as you're succumbing to that tryptophan coma, but at my house that shit lingers.

So apart from turkey and pumpkin pie (ugh) movies were devoured en masse. It's a tradition from whence I was a wee lad. Since me, my father, and my father's father could give a fuck about any sporting event; movies have been the chosen form of Thanksgiving entertainment.

We started early Thursday morning, the girls and I, with a viewing of Raiders of the Lost Ark up in the Dollar Theater Room. It was LOVED. We followed that up straight away with Temple of Doom downstairs so I could cook and watch a demonic shaman pull a human heart out of a sacrifice. The girls LOVED it, I think a bit more than Raiders. They dug that a kid saved Indy. And that Indy and the kid saved a bunch of other kids. Saving peeps is a big deal around here. On to The Last Crusade. I'm not a fan. Kids dug it, but maybe a little less. Although, I'm certain their enjoyment of stuff is directly proportionate to my enthusiasm.

FEAST HAPPENS.

No movies during that time or my wife murders with her eye lasers.

Now with the dirty dishes in the sink. The kiddos stuffed and drowsy. I throw on some coffee and all of us hit the Dollar Theater Room for the big show.

KING KONG.

It is astonishing how magical this movie is. Not only for me but my girls, 5 & 3, were enraptured. With all the CGI they've seen, this crudely but imaginatively animated puppet can still affect them in all the right ways. I think all the technical limitations work for it. The herky-jerky movement, his too-white eyes and teeth, the over the top acting ...it all works serendipitously. They were drawn in totally. And when Kong tumbles off the Empire State Building all breathing in the room stopped. It's literally magic. That is what movies are all about for me.

I shall be asking Satan Claws for this.

2005-11-18T13:58:00.000-08:00

Sold here

I wish Star Wars maintained it's dignity...

2005-11-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

Like back in the old days.

The Froo-its of the DDD 20% Off Sale.

2005-11-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

ENTOURAGE-1ST SEASON
One of those things that trusted sources say rocks and I never got around to picking up. Situation rectified. My Kevin Dillon collection keeps on a rolling.

PICKPOCKET (CRITERION)
Bresson. I caught this at a week long retrospective a couple years ago. Insta-love.

LE SAMOURAI (CRITERION)
Replacing my shitty jewel case boot. The cinema of "cool" begins with this one right here.

HENRY-PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER
One of the very few films I actually think is scary. I remember watching this alone in my old basement apartment in DC, sipping Jamesons, and thinking 'what is wrong with me for watching this?'.

EVIL DEAD 2-BOOK OF THE DEAD 2
I had NO intention of buying this until I realized I gave my old one away a few months ago because I thought this one was going to be some huge new thing. Ah well. My kiddos love the 1st Book of the Dead and this one screams so, YAY.

PARADISE LOST
I've been waiting on this one. Although, I think what's so disturbing about this isn't the crime per se (although it certainly is) but the way a horrific crime like this keeps twisting the people in it's orbit for years afterward. It's a great work. I'm also keen to check this out again as my thoughts on the verdict are drastically different then they were 10 years ago.

MALLRATS (EXTENDED/10TH ANNIVERSARY)
I'm a completist. It was $12-something. That's about the strongest case I can make for buying this again. Still love Kevin Smith, though.

FRAGGLE ROCK-1ST SEASON
X-mas gift for my daughters. Although, I do love those little construction worker guys.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT-SEASON ONE /SEASON TWO
Not purchased at DDD, but Amazon was selling both seasons for a little over $30 so I jumped. One of the few TV shows I made a concerted effort to watch (and like the other shows I enjoyed was recently given the heave-ho. Fuck You, television.). High-fucking-larry-us. Consistently, and that's the real trick. This thing is always funny.

KONG IS KING

2005-11-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

The fortunate sons at DVDBEAVER have posted an in-depth look at the new KING KONG set that hits steets next week.

Check it hither.

DVD Review: Office Space

2005-11-17T05:31:00.000-08:00

I finally gave the new edition of Office Space a spin. I never got the old DVD because even when it was brand new it was the old DVD with it's dirty, filthy non-anamorphicness and dearth of supplements. Office Space - Special Edition with Flair (DVD Peeps, that shit is retarded.) is more a stop gap to a really kickass set. The only saving grace is the much obsessed-over-by-me anamorphic enhancement and it can be purchased for just a few paltry sheckles.

The flick itself has been on the cusp of being ruined by nerds since it's rabid embrace by tech geeks on video. You people do realize that when you quote the annoying people over and over in this movie that you essentially BECOME THEM? Essentially the greatest thing about Office Space is that it's a mirror being held up to a huge swath of folks who really don't have their pain materialized in some form of popular entertainment. I can't think of anyone who hasn't teetered on the bottom (or middle) rung of corporate America and been immune to this movies charm. And those that are probably traded their soul for that reserved parking spot. A personal favorite moment is during the opening credits when Michael Bolton is blasting his gangsta rap and sees a black guy in the median, he locks his car door and turns the music down. That slays me every time.

The DVD really is a half-assed affair. The transfer comes in nice and clean displaying the innate resplendent beauty of cubicleland. Audio is fine...you can hear the quietly evil hum of the flourescent light in the rear channels.

The only extra I had the energy to get through was the Out of the Office: An Office Space Retrospective with Mike Judge. I guess the operative word here would be 'serviceable'. I love hearing Mike Judge talk 'cause Hank Hill is like right there just an octave lower. There's some funny stuff about Judge having "Fuck You" money. Aniston's bits are from an old interview (looks really EPK-ish). Overall it's pleasant enough.

Coffee and Cigarettes

2005-11-16T08:26:00.000-08:00

Jim Jarmusch reminds me of Indian food. To the film dilettante Jarmuschs work seems impenetrable. His narrative mannerisms can be slightly off-putting. But if you give yourself over to his particular flavors, to his lyricisms you will find yourself jonesing for his work.

Coffee and Cigarettes is a drug movie. Not the usual bleak rise and fall drug movie. But a celebration of our America's two most prized legal stimulants illustrating how they cause people to jitter and bump off each other. There's something ritualistic in partaking of caffeine and nicotine in a greasy spoon and letting the conversation drip-drop out of your brain.

Through a series of vignettes, Jarmusch pits actors of various range against each other with the titular drugs the only between them. The opening piece is perhaps the most obvious, staging manic Roberto Benigni, who never EVER should be allowed to drink coffee, in contrast to the deadpan comedian of yore, Steven Wright. While the former vibrates like he's got a living snake up his ass, Wright struggles to maintain his trademark composure.

In another segment, punk rock forebear Iggy Pop sits across a diner table from growling troubadour Tom Waits and they both engage in a subtle game of one-upmanship. Later on in a similar themed bit Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan enjoy tea and French smokes while Molina gushes and Coogan acts the uppity twat. The hands down best segment is Bill Murray, The RZA and GZA enjoying a coffee break together.

Some of the segments don't quite jell or feel a bit forced. Meg White and Jack White sound ridiculous and phony talking about Nikolai Tesla's scientific accomplishments. Cate Blanchett's dual role piece strays too far from the rest of the tone of the film. Extremely well acted as it is, I was glad to get back to the shithole diners and more grounded setups.

FINALLY, My Ball Dropped!!!!

2005-11-11T11:03:00.000-08:00

Behold:

Boooooooy!

Amazon.UK, thou art the salve on my chafed loins. My love for the Phantasm saga (yes, 'saga' -- shut it) is equivalent to some people's love for the Evil Dead series. The difference being that ALL of the Phantasm movies are good (once again, shut it). So everything in my DVDs to-watch pile gets the shaft in favor of The Tall Man and his ball of murderousness. I'll let all nine of you know how fucking awesome it all is. Again.

Also: Region 1, you suck. Seriously...why can't you be cool like Region 2? Pick your pants up from around your ankles and be a man. This is a DVD package, son. If you ever want to be in my favor again, Region 1 you'll act more like Region 2. Except without the annoying red age restriction circles.

DVD Confessional

2005-11-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Reeling from post-election depression I bought this:

"Two great tastes that taste great together!", as they say.

The Feel Good Movie of the Year Awaits You on DVD Today

2005-11-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

Safe to say this is going to be on my top ten of 05. I've spewed enough love about this delightful little monster...so just go get it.

Ialsopickedupcharlieandthechocolatefactoryandjumanjiyouknowforthekidsshush.

Titanic

2005-11-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

I finally picked up the Titanic 3-Disc set. For the princely sum of $15, it was most definitely worth the wait. The transfer and DTS 6.1 are amazing. And coming right after screening SITH that's not faint praise.

I still like the movie a great deal. Although, I find it sort of unsettling that given the nature of Rose's journey in the movie the success of the film led the director to declare him a King of the World on national television and put his own face on the front cover of this DVD set.

"...Now I am the Master."

2005-11-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

My schizophrenic love-hate-love-like-hate-dislike-love is at an end. The DVD has arrived and been watched.

I'm at a place where I can accept the failings of the entire saga yet still enjoy it overall. These are kids movies. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Even my beloved Empire clearly operates in a realm of black and white emotions. It transcends nothing. It celebrates everything wonderful about movies and specifically genre movies.

I've come to accept what Lucas did to the character of Darth Vader. He made clear that this wasn't the icon of evil that pop culture understood him as. Darth Vader is very much a victim of arrested development. A pathetic boy who failed everyone who loved him. A selfish kid whose inherent greed kept from seeing the obvious lies used to yoke him back into slavery. That's a decent spin on the classic Man in Black villain archetype.

A Miasmic Swirl of Quadraphonic Disharmony

2005-10-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

I return to you ill-tempered, unrested, and generally dissatisfied with everything.

So, basically, exactly how I left.

It's my most favoritest time of the year. A time when we can all come together to give praise to our Dark Lord and Master; the candy industry. Just kidding, Satan...you know we love you.

Halloween is an all weekend affair at my abode. The skeletons are hung from the rafters with care and all that. We have a couple kids parties to attend and are hosting a scary movie watching/consuming alcohol party. I'm trying to stitch together some halfway decent schedule of flicks. So far the contenders are:

Suspiria
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('74, for fucks sake)
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors (Dokken, fuug yaah!)
Poltergeist
The Thing
Halloween

I'm either going to throw these into the changer and just let 'em go...OR, I'm going to rip all my favorite scenes onto a couple of DVD's making my own "Terror in the Aisles" kind of thing.

Thoughts/suggestions from you ravenous eaters of the dead?

Zombies Ate My DVD Supplements!!!

2005-10-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

I'd call Land of the Dead a masterpiece. I realize I use the term loosely, but you know what? It's a movie I never thought I'd see. The early word was not so hot. The usual claptrap about the studio castrating the picture had me wary. I took the afternoon of from lunch to catch the earliest showing. I sat hostage through the typical spate of Fanta (don'tcha wanna) and trailers that seeped out of my brain the moment they ended. Then that classic Universal logo came up and my knee was bouncing in uncontrollable excitement. The rest of the movie just floored me with a mix of awe, scares, and nostalgia. The first thing that crossed my mind upon leaving the theater was that I wish George A. Romero had the resources of George Lucas. Not to compare their respective 2005 outings, but they're both from the same generation and they're both regarded as top genre men in the game. It just so happens that one was more aggressive businesswise. I then got to thinking, being the commie-pinko-liberal that I am, "Man, if I was Lucas I would make sure guys like Romero were taken care of. Goddamn the financial risk." I certainly think that's a better use of funds than videogames and toys and shit. Whatever...this post wasn't intended to be a Lucas-rant.

The absolute lackluster supplements on the Land of the Dead DVD got me on this train of thought. I'm not a huge supplements guy, I generally just care if the film is presented in the best possible way. I love a good commentary and I love a good documentary like what was included on The Fly SE. Land of the Dead deserved more than just a half-assed attempt. I feel like a lot of these were just shat out to make the list of "extras" on the back of the case longer. I'm actually hoping that this sells like sex and Universal hews to their S.O.P. and releases a Deader Edition or some shit. Cause, motherfuckers, I am not sated.

Not to be the typical pissed off fanboy, I did find some good in this skim. During the making-of (really just an EPK) Simon Baker says "This isn't just DVD bullshit -- I loved making this." or something to that effect. That was awesome. Nicotero and KNB are true artisans. Enough praise could not be heaped on these pack of raving geniuses. The KNB mini (stress MINI) doc gives a cursory glimpse into their studio. I could spend a couple hours watching those guys at play. The best featurette on the disc is a little piece with Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright flying to Toronto to appear as "hero" zombies in LOTD. These two grown ass men are as giddy as schoolgirls. It's terribly sweet. They literally go weak in the knees meeting Romero. I can totally empathize.

Wasn't there a character in The Phantom Menace called "Balls Roar"?

2005-10-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

If so, he's my new patron saint thanks to the Clusterfuck Maestro's at Best Buy.

I mount my lunch hour siege yesterday afternoon to get Land of the Dead and Lifeboat. Thanks to whatever team of marketeers redesigned, their once straighforward DVD aisles have been rejiggered into what can best be described as the narrowest nerd labyrinth ever, I cannot find Lifeboat. I check the new release shelf, the outfront table...nada. They do happen to have enough Batman Begins and Batman Anthologies to build a small scale replica of Gotham City however.

I wrangle me a blue shirt and ask if he can check the other BB's. Man, I am tired of cliche's being true. The instant I say "Hitchcock's Lifeboat" I've lost him. Eyes glaze over and everything. So, I eventually convince him the movie exists outside of my imagination and he checks the Best Buy's on my route home.

Guess what?

"It doesn't arrive in inventory until Friday".

Balls Roar.

DVD Tuesday

2005-10-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Only three DVD's to salve my burning desire for pointless consumerism today!

Affectionately subtitled by me: ZOMBIES EAT REPUBLICANS!!!
Word is the dvd is shite but I only care about greedily feasting on the movie itself. I also sense a DEAD marathon might be in store for Halloween.

I've only seen this on TV and on a battered VHS tape I bought from a library sidewalk sale. Looking forward to watching this on the DLP.

Fucking FINALLY. Not just "finally" for this hitting the dvd shelf (which really wasn't that long of a wait)...but "finally" that Batman/ Bruce Wayne was given the gravitas he deserved. It's a minor travesty that it's taken five films, countless animated projects (and Batman: TAS should be acknowledged for coming the closest prior to Batman Begins, BUT...well it was a kid's cartoon and there were limits to what they could do) to achieve the emotional scope the character deserved.

Sick Cinema

2005-10-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

I've been suffering the avian flu. Or a bad cold...if I'm dead tomorrow I've left "told you so" videos for friends and family.

In order to keep the cooties to myself and not contaminate the rest of the family I've ensconced myself in my theater room. I've got everything a dying man needs:

Over a thousand movies
a couple of really thick books and comics
laptop with wifi -- for porn
vodka

Because my constant neurotic obsession with the way I watch movies isn't daunted by illness, I've decided I can't shore up the queue of unwatched DVD's because I might fall asleep or just not plain lucid enough to really pick up the many thematic nuances of SWAMP THING. I've turned to what I call "sick movies"; movies that I seem to only enjoy when I'm sick. Mostly because I've seen 'em a whole lot and they're comfortable.

So, I've watched (through a fog of misery):

The Great Escape
Boogie Nights
Star Wars
Mad Max
Kong 76 (A masterpiece with enough Ny-Quil)
The Abyss (What's funny is I slept through most of this but woke up to see the near destruction of the world and for a split second was so out of it I got a little freaked.)

I think I'm going to do a double bill of Flash (Ahhhh-Ahhhhhhh) Gordon and Conan the Barbarian today.

The in-depth, focused critique DOMINO deserves...

2005-10-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Tony Scott is one crazy ass white man.

It's not often you inadvertantly run into yourself on the internets.

2005-10-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Swashing the fuck out of some buckles.

Me on the right circa 1999.

Sage Advise from Brundlefly

2005-10-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

Birthday Swag

2005-10-10T03:56:00.000-07:00

So I turned 31 and the world didn't explode. I was kind of hoping Rove would get indicted on my birthday...but I don't know if they do that on Sundays. We celebrated on Saturday. We had the extended fam over for roasted pig Cuban-style, made a pot of frijoles negroes con arroz, big salad, lots of spanish wine, my wife made an apple pie (my favorite) totally from scratch with real fat.

My sister and bro-in-law bought me a friggin gigantic bottle of Grey Goose Citron. My grandmother laid some cash on me. Moms gave me a bunch of much-needed running attire. And a Jaws t-shirt. My wife bought me a bunch of books that I wanted. Live From New York (history of SNL), a Sandman anthology, the latest Sedaris, and that Kurt Cobain journal (which I feel a little weird reading, honestly). The girls gave me more running stuff. One of those Under Armour thermal shirts in electric blue...it really looks like the big red "S" fell off. A cool little knit cap, too. I picked up the aforementioned Battlestar Galactica set for myself.

I spent most of my actual b-day watching that. I dig it. My only gripe is the chick that plays Starbuck (and I couldn't care less about the gender change at all) is the actress is fucking annoying and while I won't say "ugly"...she is majorly unappealing in about every way. Other than that entirely personal and shallow nit...what a fantastic show.

A Curse on the Balls of Devin Faraci

2005-10-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

For this.

I never wanted to be the kind of person that liked a Sci-Fi Channel Original Series. I'll be fucked by Mindy Cohn...it's awesome!

Jeff Wells and Hollywood Elsewhere

2005-10-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

This guy gets tons of shit among the nerdocracy for bludgeoning The Lord of The Rings films. I disagree with Wells A LOT. But whether one disagree with a critics take on a film isn't really the point is it? I feel like the guy always throws an honest, and this is key - WELL-WRITTEN, opinion up.

The long and short of it is he nails what doesn't work about the Harry Potter flicks for me:

I'm trying to imagine what I might find inviting about Mike Newell's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Warner Bros., 11.18). Last year I suggested killing Rupert Grint's Ron Weasley character because he never does anything except whine and wimper, but you know that'll never happen. If they would only free Harry and Hermione (Emma Watson) from Hogwarts and set them loose upon the world. Send them on the road...send them up against real-world villains and adult situations. But no...we're going to be stuck at Hogwarts again with the same old gang, and I can't understand why everyone is so pleased with these films when they pull more or less the same levers and push the same buttons each and every time.

From Hollywood Elsewhere

I'm taken aback by my complete disinterest in these films. I'm an easy sell, I love all that fantasy shit. It just doesn't touch me. The world of HP feels cold and distant and I can't detect an ounce of genuine humanity in the first three films.

Dr. Satan killing Rosario Dawson

2005-10-06T04:02:00.000-07:00

Pretty much self-explanatory!

Check it.

It's a deleted scene from The Devil's Rejects, a flick that's still occupying my top ten. The big assed dvd set can't come soon enough.

Ramblings, Ho!

2005-10-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

I picked up the The Fly and The Fly 2 SE's last week. Took me a few days and more than a few bottles of vino to get through these monstrous sets. The Fly is a masterpiece, of course and gets the supplements it deserves. The Fly 2 is an awesome little monster movie with plenty of gore and Eric Stoltz.

Finally got around to watching some episodes of Superman: The Animated Series Vol. 1. Every bit as good as the Batman cartoon.

Theatrically, The History of Violence punched me in the face. A lot. Another work of brilliance from Cronenberg that deserves more than just a couple sentence in my online diary. I'll see if I can scratch something out.

Serenity

2005-10-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

Update:
I’m a sentimental softie. There’s no reason to deny or hide behind it. Reviewing movies isn’t my thing, so I don’t feel I need to posture myself as some cold, analytical critic with deep rivers of intellectual detachment. My connection to movies is almost totally emotional. If some work of art, a movie, a painting, a song, reflects a sliver of humanity that resonates with me, I call that a success. I’ve found myself many times defending a bad movie that had an emotional core that was easily overlooked by it’s glaring plot holes or bungled narrative.

It’s from this place that a 2nd or 3rd rate picture finds a place in my heart.

Which is where Serenity has taken root.

I love that these characters aren’t royals, or elites, or chosen ones. They’re working class folk just trying to get on to the next job and keep their ship in the sky. I buy these characters. And that’s really all it takes for me. It’s sci-fi on the lo-fi. It’s the earnestness behind it that I find so compelling. And ultimately more rewarding than a host of other “A movies”.

It doesn’t look like it’s going to be any kind of financial success. That’s a shame. But philosophically, I got a lot out of it. I enjoyed every time I saw it. I loved showing some key episodes to some friends. My wife and I had a great time talking about it over beers and cheeseburgers. I had a great experience with it and that’s about all you can ask for.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll likely come back to this post after another viewing. But for the here and now, I loved this. And just to piss friends and foes:

Mal is 10x cooler than Han Solo, putos.

The 40 Year Old Virgin

2005-09-26T07:18:00.000-07:00

It's about time I made my crazy love for this known. I've seen it three times and with each successive screening my love runneth over the chamber pot that I call my heart. While this certainly isn't the "BEST" film of the year, it may just be my favorite of 05, thus far.

Where to begin...

You know how irrational people get about Joss Whedon, George Lucas, [insert any Japanese Pop Singing Sensation here]...I'm that way about Judd Apatow. That bearded treasure delivers consistently. It also seems he's well on his way towards making 'Apatowian' a real phrase that us chuckleheads can then use to make other people feel stupid. With Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared and now Virgin, Apatow is brewing up these smart, funny, heartfelt works that seem worlds apart from the now standard "gross out" comedies or the typical formula garbage that keeps Rob Schneider from delivering pizzas. The 40 Year Old Virgin mixes the snark and the sweet without ever tipping the scales of believability. If I was forced to align Apatow with some kind of thematic forbear, I might say John Irving.

And it can't be praised enough for how wonderfully profane The 40 Year Old Virgin is. Minutes out of the opening credits we get Seth Rogen (a demigod, I tells you) relating his weekend adventure of seeing a chick fucking a horse. From this one scene (and it's classic followup from Carrell) I knew I was where I was supposed to be for the next two hours. Speaking of Rogen, the entire supporting cast here is strong here. There's lots of moments where the wily fuckers ran away from the script and it's a glorious thing. Rudd, Malco, and Rogen (along with the assorted sots that are employed by Smart Tech) own the flick whenever they were allowed to play. It also gives Carrell's story room to breathe and have this organic environment. Another thing is how this great premise never plods into "Wacky Land". I love Anchorman like a slutty ex-girlfriend...but I'm not emotionally attached to it. Virgin manages some fine moments of absurdity without dropping the emotional anchor on your feet.

"And you know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay."

All you jerks need to buy "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared".

2005-09-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

That is all.

Heaven Help Us

2005-09-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

In the 1980's Andrew McCarthy made a concerted effort to turn us all into milquetoast pussies. In such staples of late-night cable viewing as Class, St. Elmo's Fire, and Less Than Zero...McCarthy was always on the precipice of tears. He taught us that men could cry...and that they should be ruthlessly mocked for it.

One bright spot on his resume is Heaven Help Us. A middle of the road movie about guys at a Brooklyn Catholic school in the mid-sixties. On the surface it's your standard coming of age flick. What's kind of cool about it is how it's so inept that the filmmakers couldn't strike the proper tone. So you have this weird sort of alchemic assembly of a crappy movie with an occasional great, or honest emotional moment. Dunn's (McCarthy) relationship to the girl (Mary Stuart Masterson) running the local soda fountain on her own because her father is crippled by depression is an interesting Plot "b" that probably deserved it's own movie.

Sometimes I'm more interested in flawed works than the outright successes. Maybe because there's more to learn?

Raging Flora On It's Way!!!

2005-09-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

In the noble pantheon of superheroics, one plantman stands above all others:

SWAMP THING !

He taught us to fight for what we believe in, he taught us to laugh, and most of all he taught us to love...Adrienne Barbeau's breasts. Sadly this castrated edition deletes her magnificent teats...but I still love Wes Craven's weird adaptation regardless.

Also, Man-Thing is a pussy.

DVD Haul: Mute Edition

2005-09-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

Movies Are The New Paisley: Vol. 2

2005-09-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Apologia: In all candor, this would never had needed a second or third post if I didn't hate lengthy blog posts.

Where was I?

Being the devoted appreciator of Freaks and Geeks that I am, Undeclared was a requisite purchase. I tore through those eps like that shit was Pringles. Coming in at a brisk 30 minutes per was a bit of a letdown. But what it lacks in duration it more than makes up for in snark. Seth Rogen is a star. Also, Jason Segal as Eric the obsessive boyfriend ALONE is worth plunking down the pittance that this set costs. I need one of those "Dreaming of You" pillowcases. Again, just like F&G, here's a wonderful show that rises above the cesspool of television and it is unceremoniously kicked in the crotchular regions by the American viewing public. Way to go, USA.

As I was finishing up Undeclared I acquired the first season set of Lost.

Sons of bitches...

(Now I'm making this a three-parter out of sheer egotism. Like me watching TV shows is as compelling as when Edith Bunker was almost raped on All in the Family or when Dudley and Arnold fell into the clutches of the child molesting bike shop owner.

You cannot wrench yourself away from this human drama unfolding in your face.)

Movies Are The New Paisley.

2005-09-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Haven't been treading the cinematic waters lately. I have no time (and increasingly nothing but hostility) for making it to the theater. The last couple of movies I bought on DVD were Heaven Help Us (better than you), To Kill A Mockingbird, and the Toy Story 10th Anniversary. All fine films, all went straight to my procrastination pileup.

What's been wringing every second of my leisure time has been successive, jaw-droppingly awesome TV on DVD sets. I initially scoffed at the mere glut of the things. It seemed every week there was 5 or 6 new Manimal (criminally NOT really availble) calibre TVDVD sets choking the aisles. I guess during the summer draught of hearty film releases on DVD, I reapplied my spending dollar towards some of the shows that received glowing praise from trusted sources.

In quick order I plowed through Firefly, Deadwood, The Sopranos, two Simpsons sets, two Batman Animated sets, Undeclared, and have just now begun Lost.

There's something so deliciously overly-indulgent in wolfing down shows like this. I really despise the structure of television programming. Not just the obvious break from the drama to sell you asswipe and Blue Star Ointment, but the necessity of doling out just enough emotionally satisfying material per week to keep you slavishly coming back for more. Like a really good drug dealer. With the TVDVD sets, you've bought your eightball and are set for the weekend.

I have gone through the first season of Deadwood twice. Once alone and then again with my wife. Goddamn, what an amazing show. For me it's every bit as compelling as The Sopranos and for a lot of the same reasons. I can't believe that the creative success is all HBO's doing. Maybe they give their creators more freedom to stretch the bounds of the medium. But with both The Sopranos and Deadwood you get emphasis on characters rather than genre excess. The Sopranos isn't just a gritty, mob drama...it goes places that movies just cannot because of their own commercial restrictions. The stories in Deadwood could be told in any setting. The characters are morally complex, rather than breezy stereotypes that are more palatable. I found myself just as emotionally attached to the criminally bent Al Swearingen and his selfish machinations as I was to the moral ex-law man Seth Bullock. Much has been made of the brusque dialogue. I can't recall anyone ever using 'cocksucker' so poetically than the scribes of Deadwood. Somewhere in the first episode all the cursing, mixed with this wonderful quasi-Shakespearean eloquence becomes quite beautiful to hear. The dialogue has a rhythm and flow to it...as profane as the conditions which these real people lived... a real distinctive melody.

To be continued...

In spite of my last post...

2005-09-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

This is VERY. MOTHERFUCKING. HOTT.

Film as Distraction

2005-09-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

In an effort to alleviate my concern-turned-stomach acid torrents of anxiety over current affairs I popped in the new Blues Brothers set.

One of my all-time favorites...it's got the Belushi and the Aretha and the James Brown and Ray Charles shooting at children...Despite my best efforts I just couldn't escape from what's going on in the next state over. So I killed the projector and went back to my double-fisted intake of indignant rage and worry, DailyKos and CNN.

I thought about how many people are anesthetized by media. Movies, TV, realityTV, internets, porno, celebrity gossip. That's not an epiphany, btw. I just wish it worked on me. Not to say that I bore the same dullness that would allow me to vote for a wall-eyed joker like Bush but enough where I could at least go to "Sweet Home Chicago" for a lousy two hours.

Perhaps, I'll try it with beer/wine/spirits/tylenol pm next time.

"Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips"

I think this is officially a series.

2005-09-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hiding Out

2005-08-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Let's get all mathematical.

Jon Cryer - Molly Ringwald + Keith Coogan (awful 80's music that no self-respecting kid ever listened to) / impacted fecal matter = Hiding Out.

My entire nervous system squirted out from under my finger nails.

"I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work."

2005-08-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

So sums up Rob Zombie’s sophomore effort The Devil’s Rejects. Delivered with menacing grace by one of the titular “rejects” in response to the horror movie victims perennial query of “Why?”.

Less of a sequel and more of a reboot to Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, the writer/director/rock god, shows that he has learned his lessons from his first film and delivered a more consistently rewarding, sure-footed effort. The Devil’s Rejects isn’t a camp horror movie like it’s predecessor. It’s a Killers-On-The-Road flick. There are horrors aplenty, however.

We are reacquainted with the hick Satanists that comprise the Firefly clan in their dilapidated Texas ranch house. Sheriff Wydell, played by William Forsythe in what henceforth shall be known as a Forsythian performance, and his posse of lawmen are locked and loaded to take out the trash. A truly kickass gunbattle unfurls. Otis Driftwood and Baby, played by Bill Mosely and Zombie’s stunner of a wife Sherri Moon-Zombie respectively, escape into the rundown, podunk wilds of Texas to wreak more mayhem.

The movie kicks into gear as they are joined by their “father”, the creepiest clown since that little fucker under the bed in Poltergeist, Captain Spaulding, played by b-movie legend Sid Haig.

This is a movie that is wonderfully amoral. As the culture grows more alarmingly homogenized, The Devil’s Rejects seeks to remind us of the dirty movies of our not-too-distant past. The kind of flicks that played 2 for a dollar at your local shithouse theater. Movies that served utterly no purpose but to shock and offend. I welcome their brief return.

What I find so interesting about The Devil’s Rejects is that it isn’t just shock value. Zombie actually has something to say about our morals and sense of retribution. The Firefly clan are clearly the protagonists. While they murder and rape without the slightest hint of remorse, they are also a hysterically normal “family”. Replete with big brother /kid sister squabbles, protective daddy, and albeit very dark senses of humor. That is when there are no innocents to torture. Zombie contrasts their flight from the law with Sheriff Wydell’s descent into madness. As noble as his intentions for ridding the earth of this scum, his zeal gives way to murderous intent.

It is also abundantly clear that Rob Zombie loves him Star Wars, particularly The Empire Strikes Back.

I can’t wait to see what he has in store for us next.

I Love This

2005-08-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

Babes of Yore!

2005-07-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

We now return you to your regularly scheduled frivolity…

I thought I’d waste some space making a list. Namely on a topic near and dear to my heart (and pants); GIRLS. You can’t swing a dead hooker without hitting a website with a list of today’s hottest. I thought I’d mix it up a little and choose some ladies from the dawn of my sexual existence. Late 70’s up until the late 80’s, let’s say. That marks the period of time I discovered that women were nice ‘till I actually got laid. The getting laid is important because that’s when I (and I’m assuming most fellas) stop (or at least slow it up a bit) fantasizing about famous movie chicks and focused our efforts of the real (i.e. attainable) thing.

10. Olivia Newton John. Screw Grease. I first noticed the blonde Aussie in the cinematic masterpiece XANADU. She was sweet, mysterious, adorable, and was constantly on roller skates. What more could a man ask for? She was also a muse and had 11 hot roller-skating sisters. During the movie, she emanated some weirdo 70’s light around her body when she skated, was animated by Don Bluth, and appeared in thigh-high cowboy boots whilst twirling a lasso.

9. Linda Fiorentino. Dear Jesus in heaven. 1985 was merciless to my glands; three movies with this minx. VISION QUEST, AFTER HOURS, and GOTCHA. It was the latter that really sealed the deal as not only was she playing a hot European giving sex ed. lessons to a young Anthony Edwards, she was also a fucking spy. Literally!

8. P.J. Soles. ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL, HALLOWEEN, and STRIPES. All were very formative films. All featuring the lovely Pamela Jayne in various stages of undress. It wasn’t just that, though. She had (and still does) one of the most captivating smiles. She has that curling kitty-cat lip thing that I find disarming. I also thought that Riff Randell was one of the coolest chicks of all time.

7. Ornella Muti. Now for a little foreign flavor on the list now. I clearly remember seeing FLASH GORDON at age 6 and ignoring most of what was going on when Princess Aura was onscreen. Oh man…a total scorcher AND she had her own pet midget on a leash. No! Not the Bore Worms, indeed.

6. Phoebe Cates. Quite possibly the first breasts I ever saw. They are permanently burned into my cerebral cortex, too. Perfection. She also could work wonders with a carrot. Another bit of wisdom imparted to me via FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH and the lovely Ms. Cates…ALWAYS LOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR.

5. Michelle Meyrink. The obligatory geek girl. The pinnacle performance was in REAL GENIUS as the cutie Jordan. Her characters subplot in VALLEY GIRL is also worth a mention.

4. Geena Davis. This lady set pants afire back in the day. Beautiful and statuesque. She has these great eyes that simply cannot restrain her intelligence (she’s in MENSA). She was truly heartbreaking in THE FLY (she also gave birth to a huge maggot but we shant linger on that) and truly topless in TOOTSIE. Let’s not forget her great costume in TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000.

3. Karen Allen. Marion Ravenwood pretty much set the bar for what I thought the ideal woman should be at age 7. Cute, adventurous, good with monkeys and Tibetan drunks, and looks amazing in formal wear. I adore how wily she is and love her smoky voice. Also terribly cute in Animal House and Scrooged.

2. Carrie Fisher. This one is all too easy. Whoever wrote this piece of ass into a gold bikini chained to an intergalactic slug gangster deserves eternal riches. Forget Princess Leia...Fisher herself is/was a cool chick. Also, the fact that she did coke with Belushi will endear her to me FOREVER.

1. Sigourney Weaver. I really sweated over this one. I knew that Ripley and Princess Leia were my top two. It came down to who still makes an impression on me as an adult. Easily it’s Sigourney. It’s not just that she’s this incredible beauty. Well outside of her Hollywood prime, she carries herself with a grace and confidence that is truly amazing. She is pushing 60 years old and still has “it”. “It” being that near-indefinable quality that radiates from within as the easy beauty of youth wanes. I also believe as far as cinema is concerned Sigourney has done more for feminism than anyone. Not only is Ripley a role that resonates with women, but also I think it shakes guys out of their archaic notions of stereotypical gender roles.

Esoteria Recap

2005-07-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my much-needed vacation, I was able to catch up on some of the media junkpiles adorning my living spaces.

The Sopranos: Season 5

Incredible. I'm shocked by the places this show does not fear to go. David Chase and his underscribes deserve every accolade they get. I love how this show takes its time to build to catastrophe. Tony Soprano deserves to sit with Archie Bunker and Homer Simpson as one of the greatest characters of television history.

Deadwood: Season 1

This and The Sopranos justifies the expense of cable. This may trump Lonesome Dove as some of the greatest western writing to grace any medium. Far more historically accurate, (even down to the off-handed use of witicisms like "cunt" and "cocksucker") and more taken with character than shoot-em ups. Ian McShane deserves the lionshare of praise for his Al Swearengen, the defacto "Don" of Deadwood. But I'm also taken with Tim Olyphant as the square-dealing lawman turned entrepreneur Seth Bullock. A masterstroke of casting rounds out the ensemble with Powers Boothe, Keith Carradine (as Wild Bill Hickock, no less), Brad Douriff, and William Sanderson.

Firefly: The Complete Series

I wanted to revisit this before Serenity hits. I love this show. The characters and dialogue are so good that I forget that I'm watching a TV sci-fi show.

Hostage

Great b-movie ride. Bruce gets to play his one character that he does really well. The ordinary joe in the extraordinary circumstances. Lots of shots of him looking perplexed and furrowing that massive brow. What the story lacks the competence of direction more than makes up for. This is one GREAT looking film...from the opening credits to the end sting. Ben Foster makes an impression as the psycho snotnosed kid, Mars. Kid has crazy down pat.

Primer

I've seen this movie twice. Once theatrically and once on DVD. It is no less confounding. The science the movie weaves it's narrative out of is damn impenetrable to a lunkhead like me. But I think that is the movies charm. I love how mercurial the plot is. The characters never talk down to the audience, never does the film tilt it's hand to the crowd. Truly mind-boggling. It was also filmed by local folk in and around my sprawling, soulless metropolis.

Point Blank

Remade(i.e. ripped-off) a dozen times (most recently with Mad Max as Mad...Porter), Point Blank is a classic noir. Lee Marvin and his gloriously chisled jowls chase down the mooks who stiffed him on a job. All Walker wants is his $93,000 that he took a set of matching bullets and lost a woman over. I dig how confident this movie is. Not an ounce of sympathy or labored exposition.

Long Time, No Self-Indulgent Prattle!

2005-07-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

I'll post harder this week as I'm on vacation.

Quick takes to be followed by complete reviews:

Batman Begins: B+

War of the Worlds: A-

Land of the Dead: A

Fantastic Four: B-

WTF?

2005-06-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

What is Zaftig Tuesday?

2005-06-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

My new name for DVD release days that are stacked like a Russ Meyer movie.

My shopping list:

Cronenberg is comprable to Kubrick and Hitchcock on my list of directors that are essential.

HBO is almost as bad as Paramount at gouging the living shit out of it's consumers. $70 for 13 episodes. Though this isn't Maude...every episode is excellent.

Integral.

Southern fried weirdness. Everyone loves Billy Bob's murderous special person, but I have an avowed fondness for Dwight Yoakam in this.

Hey is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that, 'cause I'm gonna have a hard time eatin' 'round that kind of thing now. Just like I am with antique furniture and midgets. You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.

Such a funny, creepy performance...certainly makes his character deserving of his fate. Also, I love his "band" in the flick.

Old school Walter Hill.

Old school Sam Fuller.